Posts Tagged ‘Neighbor K’


Went out to dinner last night with Neighbor K. She is awesome. She
brought toys for all If the kids. Perlie got this pink hot dog – some
of the proceeds go to breast cancer research. Mitsy and Pablo got
little catnip filled lobsters. Pablo loved his. Mitsy may have lost
her sense of smell. Neighbor K is always so thoughtful!

Farrah Fawcett, Steve Westly, and the Catholic Church

How do all these things go together exactly? Well, it goes sort of like this:

I woke up late today. Well, I walked the dog at 7:30am, but then went back to bed. Woke at 12:30pm. Called Meme back and had an awesome conversation. I finally explained why it is that I quit confirmation class. The short version is that home, school, and the Girl Scouts said I could do anything a man could do. The Catholic Church said I needed a “Microphone to God” if I was gonna get anywhere with them. So I quit since I would never be an equal. Meme told me about how the priest told her she needed to have more kids than just the two she had. She said she got really sick for all nine months before having my uncle and wasn’t willing to go through all that again. That was when she first started quietly rebelling against the church. Now you know where I get it from!

Next, I desperately needed a haircut, so I went back to Wilson at Planet Hair. This time I let him color and higlight it as well as trim and style. I let him do whatever he thought was best. It isn’t really drastic from what I’ve had other than it is blonder and he flipped it out more. I had a number of compliments and was told it was very 70’s Farrah Fawcett. I’m gonna take that as a compliment. The 70’s weren’t all that bad…

This evening’s event was a 40th birthday party for Neighbor K’s boyfriend R. They had tons of great food and I ate a lot. Good thing because I realized that having slept in, I forgot to have breakfast or lunch. I’m normally a very good eater and not the kind to starve myself before a party. Guess that is what I get for sleeping so late.

Met a lot of really nice people at the party such as Steve Westly, former California State Controller and former candidate for Governor. Had a nice time talking with his wife. Ran into Neighbor K’s friend M again—the one who was there when I met Omar. She was surprised that I still talk to him, and is still convinced he is gay. I also met the guy who Neighbor K has been telling me all about for the last two weeks. Sadly, he’s a nice guy, but I wasn’t really attracted to him. Of course, the first guy I was chatting up turned out to be gay. Not a surprise there. And I am attracted to the guy that I decided to leave with—he walked me to my car—but nothing happened. It was like the baseball game we were watching. The Indians and the Red Sox, tied at six in the 11th inning. Then the Indians got seven runs, and the Red Sox lost it, just like I did. No number, no nothing. I suck at this game. Maybe I should take up baseball.

Here are some photos so that you can judge the Farrah Fawcett look-a-like contest:

Avenue Q and The Bourne Ultimatum

This afternoon, I went with J&Y to The Orpheum Theatre to see that last showing of Avenue Q. If you haven’t heard of it (like me), it is basically what Sesame Street would look like if you you’d made a wrong turn and ended up on the other side of the tracks. With songs like “Internet Is For Porn,” “Everyone’s A Little Bit Racist,” and “Schadenfreude,” how could you go wrong? Okay, so the muppet sex was a little bit bizarre, but other than that, I laughed quite a bit. They’ve decided that my new nickname is K-Monster.

When I was walking the dog after the show, I ran into Neighbor K who suggested we go see a movie. I looked up the movie offerings on my iPhone and what did I find? I had forgotten to see The Bourne Ultimatum. I love Matt Damon. Lucky for me, so does Neighbor K. Off we went to drool in the movie theatre for a while. Another fabulous day.

Happy Birthday, Neighbor K!

Neighbor K and I went out to dinner tonight. Her birthday was on Tuesday, but I didn’t get a chance to celebrate with her until today. It was great. We walked to downtown and ate at my favorite Mediterranean place. There is just something fun about walking to dinner. I hardly ever think of doing it, but I’ve just remembered this week how much I miss exercise. I’ve been a couch/office potato for the last month and a half. Finally fixed my bike tire and rode to work Tuesday and today. It just felt so good. The walk to dinner is about three miles round trip. It is a beautiful night. We had all that extra time to chat about how I’m emotionally unavailable and she is a princess. And then we had dinner at a table on the street. The waiter heard us mention K’s birthday and brought us a free dessert. The whole evening was absolutely perfect.

Happy Birthday, Princess K!

Pet Holiday

I decided that this weekend was a Pet Holiday, thus, I stayed home. I spent most of Saturday sleeping and feeling crappy from the night before. No, it wasn’t from drinking. I’d had two beers after work, then drank root beer at the roof party. I finally realized that the headache was because of the smoke I’d inhaled on the roof. With all the laws against smoking now, I forget how horrible I feel the day after breathing in second hand smoke. This was a good reminder. It also meant I stayed home most of the day. The pets were happy.

Sunday was even more of a Pet Holiday. Perl and I went with Neighbor K and Trini to Fort Funston. Pictures can’t even express the absolute delight on her face when Perl gets to the beach. Pure, unadulterated joy. I can’t help but smile when I see her sprint down the shoreline. Neighbor K and I had some lunch after, then I took a trip to the pet store for supplies.

I spent the afternoon reading on my back deck. Mitsy doesn’t usually let me touch her while she is sleeping, but we finally had an arrangement that she could sleep on my feet propped up in the second chair. It was nice. The vet said she gained some weight last week. I’m still waiting on the blood test results. From her poo I can tell the pills aren’t effective yet and we will need a higher dosage, but at least she gained a little weight. I still feel horrid that what I thought was a miraculous weight loss was actually hyperthyroidism. Oh well. The guilt is making me spend time with them all and appreciate them more.

I took a brief break when I received a phone call from Jelly Bean Man (he earned this name from stopping in my office every morning for Jelly Bellies). Seems he was rollerblading and came down with a killer migraine. Being four miles from his apartment, I dropped everything and picked him up. He never would have made it to his place if he’d had to keep blading. I felt bad—he was really in a lot of pain.

Back home, I finished my book while being entertained by the pets jockeying for position on the main couch. First Mitsy laid in the middle. Perl decided that if she sucked it in, she could squeeze onto her favorite side and not touch Mitsy. Mitsy, however, didn’t like this plan and ran off. Perl spread out. Later, when it was empty again, Pablo picked one side. Perl came back. Using the same maneuver of circling without touching the cat, she successfully laid down without driving Pablo away. It was really adorable to watch.

Sunday Sunday

Overall, it was a good Sunday. Woke up. Walked the dog. Ran into neighbor Karen. We went to the farmer’s market, then walked the dogs for four miles. Took a shower, then got a phone call claiming that I was going to be “schooled on the Wii.” Went to work, and played the Wii on a projector screen. Seems that I did the schooling. We all went for a late lunch where I was schooled on how not to successfully pick up the waitress. Then I worked for a while and finished the evening by watching “Munich”. It was a long day. Perlie is exhausted. So am I for that matter, but I needed to watch something else after Munich, so I’m watching Nip/Tuck. Overall it has been a good day.

Big Sur Marathon

I completed my first marathon relay today.

Neighbor K suckered me into a five person relay team. I was very reluctant, but you all know I’m a sucker for trying something new. We drove down to Monterrey yesterday and picked up our bibs, ate the pasta dinner, drove the course, and attempted to go to sleep early. Get five women in a room, trying to sleep is a joke! No one slept well on the pull out couch or murphy bed.

Woke at 3:30 am to catch the 4 am bus to the start line. I went to the first leg. Arrived and stood around in the cold, dark, and fog waiting for sunrise and the start.

I have to say, it was incredible. The mass of people all grouped on the hill ready to run. Trying to run with a crowd is definitely a challenge. And meine Schwester was right, I got caught up in the moment, and my first mile was done in 9’26”. I averaged out to 10’10” per mile over my segment, which wasn’t bad considering I had to walk a little ways to get rid of a side cramp. Too much excitement. At least I wasn’t throwing up in the bushes like one girl, or pissing on a tree like many guys.

I had a little bit of a hill and just at that moment, a nice rap song came up on the ipod and I ran faster. It was run passing people for a short distance. I wanted to sprint the end, but I’d put out too much in the beginning and just couldn’t pull it out. I also shouldn’t have done that big run on Thursday. The Sunday before, maybe, but not so close to the race.

Our baton was actually a slap bracelet. I managed to find the next team member, Neighbor K’s cousin, S. I slapped the bracelet on her wrist and away she went. I could have waited there for the bus, but it was going to be another three hours before they were allowed to move, so I decided to just walk to the next stop, another five miles away. I walked it pretty consistently and made it in less than an hour and a half. Wow, do I hurt! I logged a good 10.39 miles today.

Cousin S was there when I reached the end of the second leg. We rode the bus together and eventually arrived at the finish line. Ate a lot of fruit and drank a lot of water. Found the other three members of the Quick Chics. Our team finished with a time of 4:59:13. Overall, I think that is just amazing that we made it in under five hours. Of course the winner of the marathon did it alone in about two and a half.

I still haven’t really gotten the running bug, but I’m trying to remember that it did make me feel good. It also meant that I came home, made a big plate of steak and potatoes and didn’t feel guilty at all.

Here is what my run looked like. The second leg was basically flat averaging 16’43”.


This has to be one of the most bizarre weekends yet. It wasn’t even really a weekend of oddness, just twenty four hours of life that I couldn’t invent if I tried.

Friday night started off normal enough. Went to A&M’s house to have dinner with them and C. Perlie met their new dog. Their dog has a few teeth missing, so it’s tongue hangs out the side of her mouth constantly. You couldn’t take her seriously if you tried.

Saturday morning I did laundry and then went to lunch and shopping with Neighbor K. Spent way, way too much money, but bought some really cute new shirts and a skirt. She is my new fashion consultant. I picked out one of my new outfits to wear that evening, did my hair, put on a little makeup, and drove in the rain to the city. Thus began the Twilight Zone episode.

I stopped to pick up Roommate K. You may remember her from earlier as the fashion student with the bartending job. Roommate B, who will now be referred to as Omar, asked me to pick her up on my way to the classical music recital we were all going to.

The recital was a pianist—Allison Lovejoy, a mezzo-soprano—Holly Rae Brown (both friends of Omar), and a clarinet player—Lux Brahn who was visiting from Zurich. They played a selection of German, French, and Italian songs with a little bit of Rachmaninov thrown in for good measure. The trio was quite impressive.

On arrival, Omar was no where to be found, but we did find two other girls who had come on invitation from Omar. I know that Omar attempted to invite his brother and the guy from ice skating, but both backed out at the last minute. Boy were they missing out!

Omar showed up after the first few songs with Vampire Girl. Sorry Omar, I know you like her, but she has very pale skin, dark hair and red lipstick. Soon after that, arrived Roommate Bertha, who I wish I could rename now because she no longer makes me think of a Bertha at all. She was on lunch break from the psych ward.

I couldn’t stop laughing to myself about Omar and his Harem. Even the girl in front of me smiled at Omar when he came in. He is just so damn charismatic. I began making up new stories for Omar. For example, he doesn’t do global research for a shipping company, he drives one of their trucks. Also, that he really is gay, but surrounds himself with beautiful women to try to hide it. I started observing the competition because I felt like it was a bad version of The Bachelor. I determined that I had an alliance with Roomie K and Ice Skater B. Roomie K, being a roommate would be an invaluable source of insider information. All of them had made eye contact with him when he entered. I refused to. Not going to be that easy, Omar.

At intermission, like flies to a light, we all gathered around Omar. He introduced everyone around. That was when I met Vampire Girl who kept attaching herself to Omar. Curious. I think he would have mentioned if his girlfriend was coming from Geneva. Her name began with an A though, and that didn’t match the M on his necklace…the one that he wasn’t wearing tonight. Even more curious.

After the concert, two of Omar’s harem went home, but we picked up the performers, the three people working to tape them, and one or two others. We did managed to add three men to the group, but one was already taken and the other two weren’t all that interesting.

We all went to dinner. It was a cute little Mexican place in the MIssion down the street from the Community Music Hall that we had gone to. There was a fun game of musical chairs. Roomie K and I in the center on one side of the table, Vampire Girl and Omar on the other side. Vampire Girl went to the bathroom and returned to find The Pianist had taken her seat. The Pianist gave Vampire Girl her seat back and Omar gave The Pianist his. Omar then sat next to Roomie K who soon went with The Pianist to smoke. Omar then took Roomie K’s seat so he was now next to me and across from Vampire Girl. Then the music stopped and everyone had a seat.

I chatted with Omar for most of the dinner and was amused when he occasionally would feed me. It was strange because what I could gather was that The Pianist who seems to be friends with Vampire GIrl was under the impression that Vampire Girl and Omar are dating. What happened to Geneva Girl.

After dinner, Omar went with Vampire Girl and Roomie K came with me. We meet back at the house that Omar and Roomie K share with Bertha and Not-A-Japanese-Yoga-Instructor who is no where to be seen this evening. Roomie K and I passed a shooting along the way. The cops and fire truck are there.

Omar is dog sitting for the gay couple next door, so he and I put the dogs in the garage while Roomie K, our resident bartender, starts raiding the liquor cabinet for what they won’t miss. Not long after getting there, Vampire Girl tells us she has to get up early and heads home. Roomie K, Bertha, Omar, and I continue to drink. Roomie K and Omar conspire. A shot must be drunk by all to ensure I can’t go home. Like I’m really going to complain.

After the shot, Rooomies K and Bertha head to their house. Omar and I retrieved the poor, big, black labs from the garage, where we realize the BMW convertible is unlocked with the top down, so we hop in. Yes, I do think it odd that we are sitting in a stranger’s garage in their car after having drank their alcohol. I just watched a Law & Order the other day about teens partying in the houses where they are dog sitting. I’m wondering since when I thought it was a good idea to re-enact things I see on TV. We hear voices outside. Seems the Roomies got as far as out the door then stopped to smoke.

Back on the couch, I give Omar a hard time about being a man-whore. He’d wondered how long it would take before I realized he wasn’t wearing the necklace. Things still aren’t over, but they aren’t as rosy as they used to be. Yes, he hooked up with Vampire Girl. I’m still not sure if he really, really likes her or if it was a random thing, but he calls her to tell her he won’t be coming over tonight. Guess she figured that out cause he said she didn’t answer.

I hate that I love just talking to Omar, but I like that I can just be myself. At least I think I can. It takes me a long time after meeting someone to know if I am really being me or if I’m just adapting to the situation. I’m so used to change that I don’t know if I know who I am, but I’ve been working on fixing that for the past year. Omar—that is my fatal character flaw, since you asked and I wouldn’t tell you.

Great conversation and a much needed neck massage later, I found myself sleeping (yes, just sleeping, get your mind out of the gutter!) in a stranger’s t-shirt, in a stranger’s bed and awake at 7:30 am when the sun filled the room and the dogs started getting antsy to go out. They wouldn’t go out into the backyard when I tried, so Omar had to let them out. Since we were awake, I put on stranger’s boots and we walked the pups to the top of Bernal Heights. Yes, N, J&K. I was two streets over and one block down from you for part of this surreal twenty-four hour event.

The morning was absolutely perfect! Bright blue sky, and warm. A perfect view of San Francisco. I didn’t want to leave. It was simply incredible.

We spent the rest of the morning pretending that we lived in the stranger’s house. I showered and have smelled like gay man all day. I loved their shampoo! We ate breakfast out on the back deck and Omar made a comment about Mom and Dad having breakfast on the back porch while the kids (dogs) slept just inside the door. We took his bike to the backyard and replaced the tires. I called iDad and P from the back deck while getting some sun and looking out at the view. Pretended it was any normal surreal Sunday morning.

Then we went to Grace Cathedral where an old friend of Omar’s had requested he videotape her performance. Being Earth Day, The Cathedral had a little celebration with snacks and drinks, some booths promoting the earth and one performance artist. Omar video taped Diana Marto, dressed in white, as she danced with paper replicas of whale bones. Her significant other made whale sounds on this interesting metal gizmo using a violin bow.

After her performance, I asked her how she decided to become a performance artist. She relayed a story of moving to California from the East Coast with her husband. He took her to a secret beach in Big Sur and said that once they were there, she would want to take off all her clothes. She thought it was a bit cold for that, but when she got to the beach, she disrobed and danced around with her towel. She said it was the 70’s. That was the beginning of her career as a performance artist.

There were numerous characters gathered around. My favorite old lady was about 90, wearing a bright green dress with matching shoes. She also wore a full length fur coat with a fur hat. I wandered around to the booths and managed to pick up some chocolate, lotion, and a free compact fluorescent lightbulb from PG&E.

When done with his duties, Omar and I toured around the Cathedral. This included following their Labyrinth. We then ended our surrealistic day with coffee in The Richmond at a little Cuban Cafe.

I dropped Omar off on a street corner, then proceeded to get lost trying to get home. Drove the length of the Golden Gate Park, then down along the coast. It was beautiful and relaxing. I knew that I could call someone to get directions, but I wasn’t in a rush to shed the surrealism of the day.

By tomorrow morning, this will all seem like some strange dream. There is no way that I can top it next weekend.


Friday, Neighbor K called and asked if I wanted to go to a birthday party with her. The information came slowly.

Boyfriend of a coworker. In San Francisco. Dive bar. A bunch of single men. The boyfriend used to be in a band in the 80’s. Doesn’t have to work anymore, just surfs. Should be fun. It might be his fiftieth birthday. What should I get for his cat?

How could I say no? Doesn’t that just sound like the beginning of a good story?

Saturday, Neighbor K dressed me up in a low cut top, tight jacket and jeans, and leopard print shoes, and we headed up to the city. Got off on Caesar Chavez and took a side street. Bars on the window and probably the most divey place I’ve been in years. It is usually a diner for lunch and dinner and closes fairly early in the evening. Tom knows the owner and had them stay open so that he could have his party. It is the kind of place that you’d buy a bag of chips from cause you’d know they were sealed. Other than that, I can’t imagine eating there.

The beginning was a little slow. Met a bunch of people that Neighbor K works with at the hospital. They were really nice. Tom’s girlfriend; tall, buxom, blonde with a skirt that almost came up to her cleavage. Think she has a little crush on the nice looking psychiatrist with the African accent. He was definitely worth a little crush, but I doubt his wife would approve.

Tom himself is the aging rock guitarist. Sporting a red t-shirt with cut-off sleeves circled by metal grommets and a bit of a beer belly. I was afraid when he displayed his fishnets. Later in the night he managed to drop his pants while playing with the band.

Neighbor K’s friend M arrived. We found a group of cute guys, so I maneuvered my way in. Nice lawyer types. Entertaining enough. Neighbor K found one to her liking and was off and running. I chatted up one, but he ran off with his friends. He did offer me his slightly drunk bottle of Bud. I passed.

Lawyer boys left. M and I were chatted up by a triplet of 50-somethings. One looked closer to 40, but they other two were definitely closer to 60. Another lawyer, one still trying to figure out what the heck he does, and one poet/playwright. I asked him what he writes about. He said it was mostly autobiographical. I asked if that many interesting things happen to him. He said they do because he’s never been married.

I was wondering how I was supposed to get out of this one. That is when The Roommates showed up. Four people who live together in an apartment in the city. It couldn’t be better if The Real World put them together, but of course MTV would never put together such a motley crew.

Roommate B walked up to the bar, turned to me and said, “I’m sorry I’m so late.” I told him he “better be sorry, and better not do that again.” Roommate B has to be the most homosexual man to ever hit on me first. Tight fitted pants, a deep purple button-down shirt that was unbuttoned one more button than straight. A green strand of beads for St. Patrick’s Day were around his neck. A chain with the letter M on it. He tried to tell me it was for Mom, then started going through girls names that began with M. I kept shaking my head until we heard the first name that sounded male, and I said, “Bingo.”

Roommate Blondie is in her early twenties, cute and hip. Probably just out of college and working her first job. Roommate Yoga Instructor is the late 40’s Japanese man with long greying hair. The strong, silent type that makes me think he could break me with the strike of one fist. Roommate Bertha is the six foot tall, big boned, early 40’s type. Shy and unassuming, she is beautiful in a simple way.

Roommate B said he had been at a dry wedding. I commiserated by telling him about the vegan wedding I went to. They all did a shot. He then dragged us out to dance. He said I had better not be chewing on ice. I was, so I gave it to him. We took over the dance floor for the rest of the evening. Those nights I spent ballroom dancing came in handy. However, I still have a hard time following instead of leading. I know, you aren’t surprised.

The band stopped playing, we stopped dancing, Neighbor K showed up again with her new lawyer friend. I exchanged email with my new dancing partner. Neighbor K and I were happy to find that her car was still where she left it. We laughed about the evening all the way home.

UPDATE: Went out with Roommate B again and found out more about the roommates. Roommate Blondie is in fashion school and tends bar at night. Roommate Yoga Instructor is actually Chinese and works with troubled children. Roommate Bertha works in a mental ward and comes home with the best stories. Roommate B is a humanitarian who pays his bills doing global research for one of those USPS competitors.

And a mea culpa to Roommate B. It is obvious by now that I can’t figure out who is gay or straight. I was thrown off because he has spent a number of years in Europe, can hold a conversation, and can dance. So he isn’t gay, just taken. Once again, I still can’t win.

Beautiful day…for a battery

Today was an absolutely incredible day. 80 degrees and sunny. Every window and door open. Neighbor K and I went to Fort Funston. It was her and Triny’s first time there. She and Perl had a blast. We walked up and down the beach. Perl was bad when she chased a horse and started barking. Had to walk on the leash for a while.

Then I was completely useless most of the afternoon. Watched some tv. Ate some cheese and crackers. Did some laundry.

On Friday night, at 10 pm, I attempted to go back to work, however, my car decided not to start. Over the last few weeks, it has become harder and harder to start. I have been in denial right to the point where I let the battery drain completely. Neighbor S let me borrow her car.

I successfully ignored it Saturday by shopping.

I successfully ignored it Sunday by going to the dog park.

Around 5 pm, reality finally settled in and it said that I should get my battery replaced because I wouldn’t have time to do it during the week.

I called AAA and they said that they have the battery replacement service, so I asked for that. When the AAA guy looked at my battery, he apologized cause they don’t carry that one, but jumped my car so I could go to Sears.

I went directly to Sears. I did not pass Go. I did wish to collect $200, but alas that didn’t happen either. As I was leaving my place, I realized that my odometer read 41,666. That couldn’t be good.

I drove into the bay and was politely told that they closed at 6 pm. It was currently 6:30. As I backed out, the manager came and asked what I needed. After hearing it was just a battery, he told me to pull back in. The poor guy who had told me that they were closed was told to replace my battery.

I felt like a complete schmuck for having waited so long to get it fixed and then making this guy stay late. But I did have a good time talking to them all as some of them were just goofing around getting things put away. All in all, I was very apologetic, but was entertained.